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We tend to have to say no to our preschooler multiple times during the day. They ask for and try to do things that are not optional for their age. So, as good parents, we say no. But to empower them to be positive, we have to find ways to emphasize the “yes moments.”
The Power of “YES”
Start the morning by asking questions and answering them yourself aloud. “Do we want breakfast? YES” “Did we sleep well? YES” “Are we ready for today? YES” Children mimic us. And before long, your child will be chanting “YES” along with your questions. As the day progresses and the inevitable “no” occurs, try to follow it up with a “yes” question. “I only want ketchup for lunch.” “No, you can’t eat only ketchup for lunch. But can we eat chicken nuggets with ketchup? YES!”
Reframe the bad.
When something bad happens and your child is around, acknowledge the bad but then emphasize something positive. For example: A sports car speeds past you, merges in front of you, and then slams on his brakes. As you slam on your own brakes, your car screams to a stop and everything in your purse is thrown onto the floorboard. That was bad. Your child knows it was bad. But after expressing your frustration, speak aloud what was good. It was good that your brakes worked to stop the car. It’s good that you were both wearing seat belts. It was good that you did not have a cake on the front seat.
Ask uplifting questions.
We need to ask our children questions with an emotional direction. Asking “How was preschool?” may lead to a tirade on the broken swing set, the crying child at nap time, and the hand painting mistakes. “What was the funniest moment today?” gives your child a chance to think through the day and search for the positive. Keep a list of positive questions in your car such as: “What makes you happy? Tell me what makes you laugh. What is your favorite memory?”
Before long, you and your child will be in the habit of sharing the best moments of the day rather than rehashing the hard times.
If you enjoyed these tips, you’ll want to check out our previous blog on Halloween Costumes for Preschoolers!
Want to learn more about Kids ‘R’ Kids Learning Academy of Houston Metro located in Richmond, Texas? Our mission is to provide secure, nurturing, and educational environments for children ages 6 weeks – 12 years. We help children to bloom into responsible, considerate, and contributing members of society. For more information, give us a call or stop by for a tour! We’d love to get to know you and your family.