Confidence is an important quality that every parent wants their child to have. You want them to believe in their worth and their abilities. You hope they’ll have the confidence to trust that they can face everything life throws at them. As their parent, you play an important role in building up their confidence. Children begin forming their sense of self at a very young age. By as early as 5 years old, children start asking questions about who they are and what their place is in the world. You can help them form a positive self-image and develop the resilience to confidently tackle new challenges in school and relationships. These are the top five ways to build your child’s confidence.
Show Them That You Value Them
The saying “Love is a verb” is especially true for children. Studies have shown that children feel loved and valued when their parents show an active interest in their passions and activities. It boosts their self-esteem when they feel like you genuinely care about what they are thinking and doing. Spending quality one-on-one time, without your phone out, is the most important way you can make them feel valued. Actively listening to their stories, doing activities with them that they enjoy and including them in household chores are all additional ways that you can make them feel valued.
Praise Their Effort, Not Their Intelligence
A large body of research is emerging that demonstrates that praising children’s intelligence or natural talent can harm them in school and for the rest of their lives. Instead of empowering them to take more risks and believe in their abilities, telling children that they are smart or talented makes them hesitant to take on any challenge they might fail out of fear that they’ll look stupid or untalented.
Praising children’s effort has the opposite effect. It empowers children to take more risks and persevere when they face a tough challenge in school and life. Even though it can be hard to resist telling your child how smart or talented they are, because you are proud of them, try to focus most on praising their effort and specific actions. For example, after a soccer game, instead of saying “Great game!” praise them for their teamwork and specific decisions they made on the field that helped the team or displayed their hard work.
Expose Them to New Things
Meeting new people, visiting new places and trying out new activities helps your child gain confidence. It teaches them that they can adapt and allows them to learn new things.It’s important to remember that change can be especially hard to cope with as a child. Be sure to be patient and understanding with they have meltdowns in new situations. It is a natural part of the process of growth for children to struggle with feeling overwhelmed. As they get used to being in new situations and learning new things, they will become comfortable navigating their emotions in these moments. They will learn how to cope with change, and that they can build new relationships and develop new skills.
Demonstrate that Mistakes are Okay
Making mistakes is a normal part of being human. It’s important to acknowledge when your child has made a mistake or failed at a task instead of ignoring it. When you ignore mistakes or failures, it implies that being imperfect is shameful. It can make them feel like they need to hide their mistakes instead of admitting them and learning from them. Acknowledging your child’s mistakes or failures and turning them into opportunities to learn and grow demonstrates that it is okay to be imperfect. It teaches them to be resilient and gives them confidence that they are not defined by their failures or mistakes. One of the most important ways to respond in these moments is by sharing a mistake or failure of your own. By relating to them, you will reinforce that it is alright. Then you can teach them how to learn from their mistake so that they don’t make the same one in the future.
Empower Them to Make Decisions
Even as an adult, making decisions for ourselves builds our confidence. This is especially true for children. Creating opportunities for them to make decisions will help them believe and trust in their judgment. A great way to do this for preschool-age children is to ask them what book they want to read at bedtime or video they want to watch in the car. You can help them learn how to make healthy choices by offering them 2 or 3 wholesome snacks or vegetables that they can choose from. At Kids R Kids Avalon Park, we incorporate these techniques into the classroom to help the children in our care gain confidence as they learn and make new friends. We hope that this helps you too! If you want to learn more about us and our interactive learning program, contact us to set up a visit or get more information!