Helping Younger Siblings Transition When Your Oldest Child Goes to School

As your first child heads off to Pre-K or kindergarten, you are most likely worried about how they will transition into a new environment, how they will handle separation anxiety, and how they will cope with a new schedule.

You may even be concerned with your own separation anxiety since this will be your first experience with sending a child away to school during the day.

There are tons of resources available through a quick search on the internet on how to make the transition simple & easy for both of you, but there is often another aspect to consider – a younger sibling!

From the moment they are born, they have spent nearly every day with their older brother or sister. They’ve become best friends and although they fight and argue over toys and space, they’ve become accustomed to having a constant companion. This will all change when the older sibling goes off to Pre-K. When your first born begins ‘big school’ and leaves the other behind, it can cause deep upset in the household. Siblings take up a large portion of each other’s worlds, so losing that playmate can difficult.

Sibling discord from the new situation may even stem from more than separation. Jealousy can present itself from either child as siblings tend to want to do what the other is doing at all times. Whether it’s the young child wanting to go to school like their sibling or the older child feeling like they are missing out on fun at home, navigating these feelings can take time. Here are some helpful tips from our preschool experts:

• plan ahead! Talk about the upcoming changes in the weeks ahead of the first day of school for the older sibling

• try to set up individual play dates on the weekend so your children can experience solo time without their brother or sister

• start doing one-on-one activities with each child when your partner or family member can watch your other child.

• help the children understand what they’re feeling – discuss the emotions they may be feeling and how they can use their words to express these feelings in a healthy manner

• once the school year starts, distract them from being upset by focusing on pleasant feelings and experiences

• re-framing their feelings is important! Instead of them thinking “I will miss my big brother/sister all day”, encourage your child to think “it won’t be long until they’re home again”

• have your younger children draw pictures during the day and share them with the older sibling when they get home from school; the school-aged child can show them what they did during the day too.

• talk with your children’s teachers to let them know what’s happening; many teachers understand this dynamic and can help ease the transition on their end

• make drop-off or bus pick-up time a fun activity: sing songs, tell stories, play games, etc.

• read books about the experience together: try Martha and the Bunny Brothers: I Love School, by Clara Vulliamy. Books like this can teach children that many people go through this situation and will demonstrate great ways to handle sadness & jealousy.

If you have an older child getting ready to enroll in Pre-K or Kindergarten here at Kids ‘R’ Kids, we are happy to lend some advice with the new transition. Contact our early education experts and find out more about how Kids ‘R’ Kids Avalon Park can create a wonderful environment for your children starting a new school setting.