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Parenting can be a rewarding experience, but at the same time, it can be frustrating and challenging. At a young age, children are happy to follow your directions, but as they grow older, they start testing the limits of what they can get away with.
Child psychologists suggest that a child first experiences self-awareness around the age of two. They begin to challenge authority at this point, leading to a power struggle and a battle of wills.
The most common complaint parents have at this point is talking back and sassy comments, and the child’s refusal to obey the rules set by the parents.
Most parents perceive willful behavior as negative and rebellious. However, according to research, this shows a shifting perspective as children grow and start responding to situations independently.
A lot of parents react to this by overpowering children and making them feel powerless. This results in defiance and triggers their fight or flight response. Most children fight to take power back, relying on destructive behavior and insolence.
The solution is to empower children. As a parent, you need to allow them some freedom and let them make their own decisions. That’s not to say you should let them walk over you. At the end of the day, you are the parent and they are your children.
Most parents use punishment and discipline interchangeably in everyday conversation. The natural assumption is that both words mean the same thing. However, there is a significant distinction between the two; to be a successful parent, it’s important to understand that distinction.
Punishment has negative connotations and usually has a harmful impact on a kid’s psyche. Punishing them for something involves inflicting suffering for a past mistake or deviant behavior.
In most cases does more harm than good. Discipline, on the other hand, teaches them to behave per the proper code of conduct that is acceptable in society.
Here are some simple ways to exert your authority and positively discipline your child:
Children’s minds are like sponges; they easily absorb traits and qualities by observing those around them. When you demonstrate disrespect towards other people or your children, they learn the behavior and mimic it. Avoid belittling them or giving out harsh criticism if you don’t want them to do the same.
While it’s good to have some rules and acceptable codes of behaviors, there should be a limit . That doesn’t mean you should toss out the rule book; it just means you need to focus on developing a relationship with your child rather than forcing them to accept your rules. If they have a good bond with you, you won’t need to exert your authority.
It’s important to establish yourself as the leader of the home from day one. Don’t let your child walk all over you no matter what the situation is.
Sometimes, parents give in to unreasonable demands if they are sick or if they’ve hurt themselves. While you should be compassionate towards their plight, don’t let them use it to manipulate you.
A lot of parents overreact in the heat of the moment when their child is being unreasonable. While it’s completely understandable to lose your cool, it’s important not to let it show.
Be reasonable while dealing with your child and stay calm. Avoid showing signs of frustration or yelling at the child at all costs. Not only will they lose any respect for you, but they will also learn the behavior and use it against you in the future.
When a child is acting out, it’s usually because they feel they aren’t being heard. As a parent, it’s important to understand where your child is coming from and acknowledge the crisis that is compelling them to act that way.
Develop good listening techniques that will allow you to recognize the issue in depth. Ask them to explain what they are feeling and respond positively.
When setting rules around the house, it’s important to get your child involved. Discuss acceptable boundaries and decide what the consequences should be in case they cross limits.
This will show the child you value their opinion and will make them feel more empowered and in control.
Tantrums and rebellions are borne out of feelings of helplessness. Giving children a sense of ownership and control over their lives can help them feel empowered.
Let them make a choice rather than giving them an ultimatum. For example, if you want your 8-year old to take a jacket as he leaves the house; ask him if he’d rather take the blue one or the green one rather than telling him to take one.
Being a parent means being there for your child—at all times. You can’t expect your child to listen to you when they break the rule if you never spend any time with them or have a relationship with them.
Spending quality time with the child helps develop a bond and mutual respect. Do fun things together which you both enjoy. Express your unconditional love for your child openly to strengthen the relationship.
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