Babies are not born with the knowledge of how to label or express emotions. This is why toddlers and preschoolers may have tantrums or meltdowns. They need to be taught what these emotions are, how they can be appropriately expressed, and it is okay to feel these emotions.
Labeling Emotions
One way to teach your preschooler the different emotions is by reading books about emotions. A quick keyword search of the library database should yield several choices for you to read with your little one. You can also talk about what characters in other stories may be feeling and why they may be feeling those emotions. For example, if a character has a scared look on her face, you may say, “She looks scared. Her face is doing this. Why do you think she is feeling scared? When was the last time you were scared?”
Modeling
Modeling how you handle emotions is a great way to teach your preschooler how to appropriately express her emotions. Talk to your little one about what you are feeling, label the emotions, and tell her why you feel that way and how you are going to get back to your neutral state. For example, if you are frustrated that you just spilled a glass of milk on the floor, you may say, “I am frustrated, because I spilled the milk. I am going to take three big breaths to calm myself.” This helps your preschooler know these emotions are ok and experienced by everyone.
Talk about Emotions
If your child is angry or upset, you may be able to redirect his attention and open conversation to discuss the emotions being felt. For example, if your preschooler is stomping his feet and screaming, because he wants a toy that doesn’t belong to him, you may say, “You look angry. Your face is doing this.” This will cause your child to redirect his attention to your face. Take that opportunity to offer a calming technique (i.e. three big breaths). Once your preschooler has had a chance to calm down, talk to him about how he felt and why.
Remember, every parent goes through this stage with their child and, just like waking up to eat every two hours as a newborn, this, too, is just a stage. Next time your preschooler is melting down or having a tantrum, share your calm with him or her!
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