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Children learn about emotions in the same way that they learn to read or write – through trying things, practicing new habits, and getting reinforcement from the people around them.
Label
Taking the time to notice and label emotions helps preschoolers begin to pay attention to how they are feeling. This is important because paying attention to our emotions is the first step to learning how to manage them. One way to do this is to create a “Feelings List.” For example, the list may have words such as “sad,” “happy,” “angry” or “afraid” and words to identify their physical reactions like “sweaty,” “shaky,” or “stomach pain.” These reactions and feelings can be helpful for preschoolers who might find it easier to talk about their heart beating fast or their fists getting tight, instead of what they are thinking or feeling.
Model
Parents can help teach children how to handle big emotions by modeling it in their own behavior. For example, if you are upset because you forgot something at the store, share that with your preschooler: “I’m so frustrated right now! I forgot to buy some bread!” After you have named the emotion, you can model coping and problem-solving skills. You might say, “I’m going to take some deep breaths to calm down — that often helps me.” Then once you’re feeling better, you can say, “Now how can I solve this problem?” Finally, brainstorm ideas together.
Defuse
When a child can make the link between their thoughts, their emotions, and their behavior, they are less likely to struggle when big emotions occur. This is because your child learns to reflect on their reactions to triggers and, over time, identifies what they might do differently in the future.
Parents can sometimes be blindsided by the strong emotions of preschoolers. It may feel like your child goes from a few tears to kicking and screaming on the floor in an instant. However, emotions build over time, like a wave. Kids can learn to manage those emotions that seem overwhelming by noticing and labeling them earlier, before that wave gets too big.
Remind your preschooler that recognizing the cause of their emotions makes them better able to come up with different ways to handle similar triggers in the future.
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Want to learn more about Kids ‘R’ Kids Learning Academy of Highland Glen located in Pearland, Texas? Our mission is to provide secure, nurturing, and educational environments for children ages 6 weeks – 12 years. We help children to bloom into responsible, considerate, and contributing members of society. For more information, give us a call or stop by for a tour! We’d love to get to know you and your family.