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The preschool years are filled with lots of experiences and learning. These experiences and learning new things can lead to big emotions your preschooler doesn’t know how to express. They may express these emotions through meltdowns, tantrums, or physical aggression, which can lead parents to feeling helpless, frustrated, and lost. Luckily, there are things you can do to help your preschooler develop and express emotions.
Labeling Emotions
You can teach your preschooler how different emotions look by reading books about emotions or talking about how characters in the books you read may feel. For example, if a character has a scared look on her face, you may say, “She looks scared. Her face is doing this.”
Modeling
Try talking about your emotions with your preschooler and modeling how you handle those emotions. For example, if you are frustrated that you just spilled a glass of milk on the floor, you may say, “I am frustrated, because I spilled the milk. I am going to take three big breaths to calm myself.” This helps your preschooler know these emotions are ok and experienced by everyone.
Talk about Emotions
If your child is angry or upset, you may be able to redirect his attention and open conversation to discuss the emotions being felt. For example, if your preschooler is stomping his feet and screaming, because he wants a toy that doesn’t belong to him, you may say, “You look angry. Your face is doing this.” This will cause your child to redirect his attention to your face. Take that opportunity to offer a calming technique (i.e. three big breaths). Once your preschooler has had a chance to calm down, talk to him about how he felt and why.
Remember, every parent goes through this stage with their child and, just like waking up to eat every two hours as a newborn, this, too, is just a stage. Next time your preschooler is melting down or having a tantrum, share your calm with him or her!
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